Since February, last year, my back has been aching. It started with small pangs when I tried to carry a box. A year later, I can’t get out of my bed in the morning. I had no idea that mankind needs a back so much. It is not that I can’t function, but I just look stupid all the time. I can’t pick something up from the floor without clutching something, or leaning heavily on my knees. For my work, I need to carry boxes and I just cannot get them into or out of my car without bending my knees like a Russian dancer. When I want to get something out of the bottom kitchen cupboard, my movements look like I’m on a French toilet. Getting out of the car is accompanied by a deep groan and the resemblance of a ninety year old. A minor detail is that I need three painkillers a day.
However, I have never visited a doctor for this. My excuses are awesome. At first, I was convinced that it would just go away. On top of that, I didn’t have the time to go to the doctor’s. When it didn’t go away, I tried to make a doctor’s appointment but I never managed to call between eight and ten in the morning, which are the only hours suitable to make an appointment. Furthermore, I got scared that it had something to do with loss of muscle strength. But that diagnosis would lead to the conclusion that I should do something in a fitness school, and I just don’t have the time. Then it got worse and I started to be afraid that it could be a hernia, and I would need surgery. And I simply don’t have the time for the rehabilitation.
One day, I was waiting for the bus at Schiphol and regretting my not so high heels, and I tried to distract myself from the pain by looking at an enormous television screen. Suddenly, a commercial from TEMPUR came on. A TEMPUR Mattress is a high quality mattress, made with NASA technology. The mattresses and pillows form themselves under the influence of body temperature and weight and adjust themselves to the contours of your body. Therefore your back, neck and joints can rest in a natural position. Medical specialists recommend TEMPUR Mattresses to people with severe back problems. After a night sleep on a TEMPUR Mattress, you feel like a teenager ready for the day. To be honest, I was already convinced when NASA popped up. It seems to me that when astronauts use it, it must be good. On top of that, the commercial added that snoring can be considerably reduced on a TEMPUR mattress. And as the snoring of my husband had caused severe marital problems, I saw idyllic pictures of us renewing our vows.
After this breaking news, I immediately managed to find the time to go to a Better Bed kind of store. The eager look on my face apparently gave away the loads of money I was prepared to pay and alerted the salesman immediately. I told him all the ins and outs of my back pain and he kind of sang his sentences: ‘Of course I’m not a doctor, but it seems to me that this is a classical situation of a too firm mattress. I can assure you that your life will be much better after we have helped you to a new one!’
And then he started his magic trick. He led me to a bed and asked me to lie down on it – off course, after taking my shoes off. I had stood for a long time and this bed felt like heaven. I closed my eyes and almost fell asleep. ‘Hum…, little bit too hard though, I think,’ the salesman said. ‘And you are so long and tall and light weight, this bed is too firm.’ I couldn’t help feeling flattered. The salesman led me to another bed. When I lay down, I immediately felt less pressure on my back. At that moment the salesman noticed my husband and asked me if he had sleeping problems as well. Before he could answer, I shouted: ‘He snores! And he’s always tired.’ ‘Really? Typical case! Your mattress is too soft.’ I got up. ‘That means that …’ ‘Yes I know…’ The salesman said. ‘It means that you both need a different mattress.’ He bent his hands like someone died. My husband was shocked. ‘That’s the price of getting older,’ the salesman said. ‘When we are young, it doesn’t matter what we sleep on, as long as we are with our beloved.’ I could have sworn he was grinning.
‘But let’s concentrate on the lady now. This mattress is not suitable as well. Your hips are not supported enough. That means I have to bring you to the TEMPUR area.’
‘I told you so!’ I whispered triumphantly to my husband.
‘I told you so!’ I whispered triumphantly to my husband.
Like removing the veil of a bride to kiss her, the salesman removed the cover of a bed that already looked like heaven. I lay down and instantly felt that this bed surely supported my hips. And my neck, and my shoulders. I felt the fatigue flowing out of my body. Vaguely, in the distance, I heard my husband ask the salesman how much it cost, but I couldn’t have cared less. I was absolutely convinced that this mattress would solve all my problems. My back ache, the snoring, my tiredness, my stress. My business would flourish, my marriage would be better than ever only because I would sleep again. That was priceless.
Because of the diagnosis that my husband and me should have different mattresses, the salesman sold two TEMPUR beds that day. One firm, one soft. And yes, they could deliver the following Wednesday, so the painful period would soon be behind me. On top of this, the mattresses had 10% off, and we got two pillows for free. We only had to pay € 2.500,-.
Four months later. I still take three painkillers a day. I need help to get out of the bed in the morning. At night, when I turn on the other side, stabbing pain wakes me up and keeps me awake for several hours. Then I listen to the deafening snoring of my husband, which makes the frame of the bed tremble. And regarding the idyllic marital scenes: in the middle of our bed is a hill. That’s is because of the fact that the firm mattress of my husband is 5 cm thinner than my soft one. Whenever we want to lie next to each other, he has to climb up or I have to fall down. When we go to bed and we are both on our own mattress, we sometimes ask: ‘Your side or mine?’ But even the thought of the effort that is needed to conquer the barrier between us, makes us stick to our own side. The salesman was right: € 2.500,- is the price of getting old.
